SATs Updated To Encourage Crap Writing

As Emily, my non-profit,-NGO-working roommate-turned-SAT-tutor (it's way more lucrative) and every high school junior knows, the SATs are coming up this Saturday. And they're not just your mother's -- or, in fact, your -- SATs, where the number 1600 was sacred -- no, they've been updated to reflect what kids have actually learned in school, and, now with the pinnacle of achievement weighing in at 2400 points, now include a writing section.

This writing section is, of course, fairly scored, and all graders read each essay carefully. This is, after all, America, where we train kids to be real good riters in our public schools.

Sigh. As the article linked above points out, essays appear to be being graded exclusively along one parameter: length. Says the reporter of Dr. Les Perelman, one of the directors of undergraduate writing at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (first factual; then anecdotal):

He was stunned by how complete the correlation was between length and score. "I have never found a quantifiable predictor in 25 years of grading that was anywhere near as strong as this one," he said. "If you just graded them based on length without ever reading them, you'd be right over 90 percent of the time." The shortest essays, typically 100 words, got the lowest grade of one. The longest, about 400 words, got the top grade of six. In between, there was virtually a direct match between length and grade.

This reporter held up a sample essay far enough away so it could not be read, and he was still able to guess the correct grade by its bulk and shape. "That's a 4," he said. "It looks like a 4."

Gah. And for this -- a 25-minute writing sample that isn't even graded on reasonable parameters -- 800 points have been added to the test that determines a huge percentage of college acceptances?

Dr. Perelman's sad advice:

How to prepare for such an essay? "I would advise writing as long as possible," said Dr. Perelman, "and include lots of facts, even if they're made up." This, of course, is not what he teaches his M.I.T. students. "It's exactly what we don't want to teach our kids," he said.

Wonder if Emily tells her tutees that ...